Realizing that I am truly grateful and more than blessed is an understatement to the feeling I had the other night at JFK in New York. I sobbed like a child walking through the security check point and even worse at the gate when I found out my flight was 3 hours delayed. I never thought I would be able to miss my home this much until I realized I have (2) homes now.
I flew into New York late Wednesday night for a little R&R, start of MB Fashion Week antics, a promise to see my family, and high expectations to see my friends that I truly adore now more than ever. All that came true with lessons learned. After this “trip” or I should say blessing in disguise I have decided to eliminate certain poisons in my life and take on the most incredible advice I have EVER heard! All coming from four different individuals who hold a high place in my heart. I came with full intentions to spend the most time with these four individuals and that’s exactly what had fell into place during my stay.
I have NEVER felt more LOVED in all of my life. A feeling I have truly been waiting to feel my ENTIRE life. I had friends and family hounding me to find out where I was at every minute of the day just so they can get to me and have a minimum of 10 minutes with me. You couldn’t smack the smile off my face no matter how hard you hit..(I would hit back though…) I played a tourist with shopping, visiting St. Patrick’s Cathedral, Lincoln Center, and the works! Dabbled in the nightlife that I am slowly getting more and more turned off by. Experienced FNO aka Animal’s Night Out and stayed up till the late hours of the night reminiscing with the best of friends. I couldn’t ask for a better way to spend every hour of my 4 days in New York.
I received verification that I need to make certain changes in my life with the energy I choose to surround myself with. I no longer want any negativity in my life. I may be young and naïve, but I’m not stupid enough to continue to have people in life that want to use me for my kindness. I am a good person, and care A LOT about the circle that I keep around me. Not everyone is worth being in that circle anymore. I believe it’s just the way it has to be. I strongly advise everyone to re-think who they have in their life that is toxic or a real epic fail and poof vamoose with them!
My father and I tend to get into these deep life conversations sometimes and this weekend we def got into a big one. We talked about how much I have changed this year with all the changes that have occurred. Loss of work, having two months off, making a last minute decision on a move cross country, my decisions and mistakes, and the complete loss of trust that I have for anyone to be let into my heart. Truth is I find NOTHING wrong with anything that has happened this year. All that has happened lead me to where I am now…A BETTER PLACE! I LOVE my new work position, LOVE my new relaxed and gorgeous environment, LOVE that I had two months to think about what really matters in my life and a chance to calm down from that STRESS that I held on to called my job, and I DO STILL BELIEVE IN TRUSTING someone that I LOVE. When it comes to LOVE ADVICE my father has the best line for me…”Men see what they want, women hear what they want.” Glad to have this as advice because I don’t believe a thing anyone says, you can show me who you really are if you want to have anything to do with me.
I had someone ask me a long time ago if I am proud of who I am and the decisions I have made in my life. What answer do you think I gave them? DAMN STRAIGHT I’M PROUD! I believe in myself and with the power that I can truly have anything I WANT. I believe in telling the TRUTH and giving ANY and EVERYTHING I have to offer. Keeping a guard up with my HEART and letting a limited amount of people in. YOU know who you are.
Mk.
