We have a deep friendship that runs past any attraction to one another. The last time I saw you, I felt like you and I were best friends, yet the tension could have been cut with a knife. I longed so much to just passionately kiss you, but I couldn’t for fear of the aftermath. You proved not to be ready for any sort of serious commitment, and now you may be, but I’m far too afraid to ask. I want you and your heart so terribly bad, but my fear of rejection is crippling me.
We’ve had our ups and down. I’ve convinced myself I hated you, I’ve convinced myself you didn’t care about me. I’ve told all my friends that you never meant anything, a guy who I could do much better than, and they agreed. But I always let you right back in. It is like you are the only person who I’ve ever given a key to my heart. All within the shortest period of time. You know my goals, my hopes, my fears, my struggles. I can try to hide them from you with my sharp words and short answers, but you are the only one who seems to be able to read the thoughts right behind my eyes. But with you, I never really know. Could your charm be deceiving me into thinking that you really care? That is what my head tells me, night after night. But when you remember my favorite animal and my feelings and ask me about ME and tell me you believe in ME, it is hard to think that you are just trying to sleep with me when your not.
Our run-around has gone on for so long, and I just want us to be together. I think you are finally getting in a state where you can handle a relationship, and I don’t want anyone else. I can’t say I will wait for you, but my heart knows I will. I’m so afraid you will fall for someone else, but then every time we speak my fears melt away. I told you that you deserve to be single in this moment, but selfishly bit my lip every time.
When I see you, the feelings will be intensified even more. It is so hard for me to resist you, and I wonder if you feel the same way. And even if you do, I wonder if you are too afraid to do anything about it. Reasons visible to everyone else but us. I don’t know, but I would love to feel what a real relationship would be like with you. We both know it would work and be magical, but we are mutually afraid to fall.
You are my puzzle. I can control every other aspect of my life, but my feelings for you never seem to dwindle. I just wish we could start putting this puzzle together. When your ready you’ll understand it was YOU all along.
