Funny...I am actually getting feedback from all of you on why I'm not updating my blog more often. Truth is I started writing a piece on LOVE that has been on my mind lately, and it has flowed into my Bio. I think I have finally found a peace of mind to tell my story on my life that most of you truly don't know. May help you have a better understanding of who I am, and how I got to be this overbearing personality that you all LOVE and hate at the same time! It does need work, and with time I know I will put every detail I can recall from early childhood to the present. I want to share my life, my mistakes, mt relationships, happiness, and pain whish is still a huge factor in my life. I think we all hide behind a certain exterior that needs to be shared. This is the beginning of my exterior...Please bare with me as this will take time to complete...and soon I will want to have a public's view point..on my life and my LOVE.
- Chapter 1 - The Beginning DRAFT
The one possible burden and question in my life will forever be what LOVE really means to me. I have this terrible view on it from such an early age, and have been desperately trying to figure out how to make sense of it.
You would think that one would have the chance to learn about LOVE from the two people that put you on this earth. Not my case. I believe I was created from pure LUST, as most of us find ourselves mistaking the two. You can’t understand my view unless you know about two people who were SUPPOSE to teach me some lessons, all in which I managed to teach myself, and still have the pleasure of learning.
My parents met is Austria, and after two weeks of having unbelievable chemistry decided to get married and “be together forever”. Three days after they were married, my mother received her Visa to come to the U.S. and coincidentally moved to Miami, FL leaving my father behind until he was able to receive his Visa. You can already see where the selfish factor comes into play…
My mother lived in Miami for about a year with her best friend and her family. Come to think of it my mother came to the U.S. in 1983, making her 25/26! Same as me….? Born in June/1957 so that sounds just about right. She communicated with her husband via letters and phone calls here and there, but continued living her life in Florida.
My father received his Visa after a full year and moved to New York City in 1984. He worked two jobs to help support my mother who was accustomed to a certain lifestyle so to say. They lived in a small studio in the West Village happily (or so I was told ) and decided to have a child…ME!
I was born on Easter Sunday on April 7, 1985. True Aries at heart! My character has been built on inherent voracious curiosity about the world and all of it’s nature. My sign has a fascinating combination of being a dreamer and doer, and wanting to improve the conditions of those around me. I am without ego and have the ability to understand the feelings of others. Even at an early age I can feel certain pain and resentment my parents had for one another. I couldn’t understand the actual statements, but knew it was all wrong.
Like most of us, there are certain memories that stick out about our adolescent age that can’t be eliminated in our mind. I remember the good moments my parents shared. Remember the two of them spending time with me at the park, zoo, beach play dates, amongst other outings that I am sure were typical for a child. My mother was a huge fan of dressing me up in obnoxious hot pink outfits with ruffles and making sure my hair was at a high point ponytail somewhere close to where my forehead started. I used to take the camera away from her and steer into taking photos of my parents. The photos always cut off between their waist line as it was my eye level. Not too bright to shoot up at their faces. Those photos are still hidden amongst the numerous albums my mother kept.
Sad to say to that I remember the fighting and lack there of a family at a very early age before elementary school started. This would be considered age six. My parents had a difficult time communicating between their two cultures. My mother coming from a small Polish family and my father coming from a very large well-known Albanian family. My mother would want to spend quality alone time with her husband and daughter after coming home from work, as my father wanted to entertain by playing a host to everyone to say the least. Between the difference of cultures breaking away at their relationship, a huge factor of trust came into play....
Too be continued...
